Saturday, November 06, 2010

LauNDRy RaNT

I’ve got a million other things to do but laundry just interrupted my life so now I’m going on a laundry rant since I just spent an hour folding about 7 loads of kid’s clothes, 5 bed’s worth of sheets and towels and dish towels. It has made me angry and venting about this stupid stupid STUPID chore will make me feel better. I already feel better as my fingers fly along the keyboard.

Anyone who loves doing laundry is a freaking idiot. Sorry, but you are. OK, I can understand someone loving the smell of laundry. I can understand someone LOVING the fact that all the laundry is done, but anyone in their right mind that actually says, “OH WOW, I get to do laundry today, I am SOOOOO excited… “

YOU ARE AN IMBECILE.

Are you out there?

Cuz if you are, you are a knucklehead.

It is NOT fun.

It’s a stupid chore with stupid ‘rules’ and I’m going to tell you the stupid rules that I cannot stand:

First of all, I cannot stand the fact that you are supposed to fold underwear. I refuse to fold underwear. WHY fold underwear? Seriously, that is the dumbest thing in the entire world to do. Let’s all fold a piece of clothing that goes onto your body that no one is going to see. Who cares if there is a crease in them where you’re supposed to fold them? Nope, I toss the underwear in the drawer. That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. Let’s fold underwear.

OK, and actually, that’s not first. First and foremost is I hate putting clothes into a drawer. THAT is the dumbest thing. You have to TAKE THEM OUT OF THE DRAWER practically the very next day. Why on earth did someone create all these stupid rules for us WOMEN to do, because the majority of laundresses are WOMEN. We women are the ones doing the sorting, washing, drying, folding, taking into appropriate rooms, putting away into appropriate drawers only to have the appropriate kids rifle through them and yell to you that they can’t find their [jersey/jeggings/favorite orange shirt/basketball shirt/special shirt for spirit day] when you know for certain that you washed and folded it and put it right in their drawer just the other day and if they hadn’t trashed their drawers, they could easily find that damn item!

UGH!

Can you tell I have some high blood pressure here?

Other stupid stuff I find in the system of doing laundry … SOCKS.

Sorting and matching socks is the other dumbest thing I’ve ever come across and about five years ago, I decided I am no longer doing it. I got rid of every sock in the house, started FRESH by buying everyone about eight new pairs and got sock bins for everyone. When the laundry is done, the appropriate kids’ sock goes into the bin it belongs to, and in the morning, the kid grabs two socks that inevitably matches. I NO LONGER MATCH SOCKS TOGETHER.

I hate socks and hate matching them and will never in my entire life do that again.

And tonight, after seeing the pile of clean clothes in my bedroom that needed to be sorted, folded and put away, I instituted another new family rule.

I am no longer folding the kids’ stuff anymore.

Nope. I have thrown in the proverbial laundry towel. Of course, it is a CLEAN proverbial towel. Because I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY IN THE HOUSE, but I am NOT FOLDING A TRILLION items anymore, only to have them yell at me that they can’t find this or that or where is my (FILL IN THE BLANK)… They are going to be responsible for their clothes from now on.

I will sort the boys’ clothes into one clothes basket. I will sort Diva’s clothes into one clothes basket. I will tell them to take them upstairs. I will inform them that those are their clean clothes. And that I don’t want to see them anymore.

What they do with them is their choice, although I will strongly suggest they put them into some drawers. I don’t care if they shove them in there. I don’t care if they fold them nicely. I don’t care how they do it. As long as I don’t have to fold their clothes anymore.

Because I think doing laundry SUCKS and I’m so tired of it, and it’s just a waste of time. It seriously is the most ridiculous thing in the world.

Oh wait, I thought of something MORE ridiculous than putting away clothes only to have to take them out the very next day…

Ironing sheets that you put onto your bed.

Why on earth do people do this? Please explain this one to me? Do you sleep better if there are no wrinkles on the sheet? Does it stop insomnia? Do the sheets smell better? Do you have better dreams? Does ironing the sheets help the flabby part of the arm (cuz if that’s the case, maybe I should give it a shot, cuz the ShakeWeight I bought isn’t doing the trick … but I guess I have to actually pick it up in order to have it work!

OK, I feel much better. Share your laundry gripes with me! Because if you’ve read this far, I know you don’t love laundry either! : )

If you liked this rant, please share the link with your friends. Send them an email with the link to this rant! My next rant will be Kid-Shit Rant ... Why they can never find their shit when they had it last yet of course, we moms know exactly where that item is. I might change this blog name to MaNiCRaNt. Nice ring to it, huh?

Also, check back later this week as I'll be giving away Dawn Meehan's new book, You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth ... don't get me started on THAT rant!...

Update: Oh I am pissed off. The boys went upstairs and LEFT THE LAUNDRY BASKETS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE!!!!!!!

17 comments:

~L0SERM0M~ said...

Okay! Seriously LOVE the sock bin idea. I am soo buying bins! ♥ IT!

You are RIGHT laundry sucks ass! Not some little tight I work out every morning after I take my kids to school ass either. BIG FAT I SIT ON MY COMPUTER ALL DAY LONG AND DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO MY DISHES SO I ORDER TAKE OUT FOR WEEKS AT A TIME ASS!

Yep, I feel the same as you!

Dressers are OVERRATED! They are NEVER big enough, they are HUGE space takers in our bedrooms!

Folding clothes...Ya, THAT'S the worst. Think how much time just THAT alone takes. It's bullshit. The only good thing about that is I'm usually sitting on my ass! P.S. my ass is neither one of those mentioned earlier in this comment. =)

Great! You have totally pissed me off about the whole laundry shit now. Ohhh today will be a great day, I can tell already!

Heidiopia said...

MM, you just echoed the sentiments of moms EVERYWHERE!! I hate laundry, too, for all the reasons you listed, but also because IT'S REDUNDANT! We have to do it over, and over, and over again. And as soon as you've caught it up and everything is put away, the pile has already started again because someone has come home from school/practice/work/the gym and tossed their dirty clothes into the freshly emptied basket.

Rock on, MM! :)

Shelley said...

Yes! Laundry and dishes, the bane of my existence, because they're never done.

My biggest complaints: Put folded laundry on a teenager's bed for them to put away? yeah, right. It will get pushed onto the floor when they go to bed, then end up back in the laundry basket because it's on the floor and sooner or later they don't know what's clean and what's dirty! Grrrrr.

15 year-old who does her own laundry, and will bitch if I do hers. HOWEVER - she won't do it until her bedroom floor is overflowing with clothes, and even then I have to bug her about it. And, like right now, *I* would like to do some laundry, but I can't because she has stuff in both the washer and the dryer. And she's still asleep. I could get her stuff out of the dryer and fold it and put it in her basket, but then it will stay there for all eternity and she will live out of the basket instead of putting things away.

Washer and dryer in basement, my room and youngest's room on second floor. Blah. At 6000 ft., I still can't run a basket of laundry up two flights of stairs without being out of breath. And I've been doing it for almost a year and a half!

Did I mention that it never. freaking. ends? Gah!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

OMG, SHELLEY, you just reminded me of a dream I had--I dreamed I had my laundry machines in the basement!!! And you are sooo right--if you put clean clothes on a teen's bed, they end up on the floor next to the dirty clothes and you end up washing clean clothes all over again! And LoserMom, you are right too! Dressers are the stupidest pieces of furniture in the world! I will have to write that rant next!!! And Heidi, the laundry is never done! It's like what HELL must be like--you get there, and there's the devil, and he is ordering you to DO LAUNDRY for the rest of your life!!!!

dgmommie said...

I'm still doing laundry today after doing it all day yesterday. HE washers are great, but with that and the matching dryer, each load takes an hour before I can start another load. I did 5 loads of clothes yesterday, and finishing up the last load of clothes today (I *stuff* the clothes in my extra-large washer/dryer, so that's a TON of clothes!). I had only two loads to start until my three kids finally brought down theirs after me telling them to bring them down every day this past week. 1 load of sheets in the washer now, and next there are 2 loads of towels to go in, so I'll be doing it all day today as well.

Here's how I handle the dry clothes issue. Each person has a basket, and I sort clean clothes into that basket. From there, each person takes their own basket of clothes to do whatever with - I help my 8 yr old do her clothes still, but she's taking on more of it each time. My teenage boys take theirs up to their rooms and it usually stays in the basket until they wear it, with dirty clothes going on the floor all over their rooms. I long ago gave up that battle of getting clean clothes put away and dirty clothes in the basket. Next step - making them wash their own clothes since they take a week to bring down the dirties.

Regarding dressers - those are only for the clothes that don't (can't) hang for my own clothes (husband still puts most of his in his dresser). Much faster to hang everything (including t-shirts) than to fold it all, plus it's easier to find things. As I said above, the boys don't use their dresssers anymore. And my daughter is still too short to reach hanging clothes in her closet, but she's almost there, so we'll be making that switch for her very soon hopefully.

I hear the dryer beeping, so that load is done - time to change the loads. Laundry truly does suck.

Stephanie Blake said...

I hate laundry, too. It's never ending. Last week, one of the kids peed his bed, then because his was wet, he came in with me and peed mine.

My laundry room is in the basement, so I have to carry it up 2 flights of stairs. Sometimes I almost pass out. Does that mean I'm out of shape?

Carrie M. said...

Love this post!! I also do not fold underwear and think its stupid that my husband insists on having his folded (I make him do it himself!!). One of my irritations about laundry is when I bust my butt doing my kids' laundry and the next time I sort clothes I find the CLEAN CLOTHES BACK IN THEIR HAMPER!! How do I know they're clean? Because they're still FOLDED..the socks are even still together...grrr!!! KIDS!!

kathleen shoop said...

uh, yeah, I'm definitely stealing the sock bin idea...now let me see how long it takes to purchase the sock bins...let me see, write or do laundry?

Mama Sweet Pea said...

I'm convinced there is a troll hiding under the bed who pulls out our clothes at night and wears them - there is no other POSSIBLE explanation for how much laundry these boys go thru!

Jess Riley said...

I love that you used the word "knucklehead" in here...

I despise laundry as well, but I REALLY hate folding J's polo shirts. So I do a bad job and he does it instead. hehe!

(miss you!)

Leslie said...

About three years ago I stopped putting the kids' clothes away...they were 6 and 10. Now I just lay everything on their bed and then bitch until they put it away ;) Also, everything gets hung up except pjs, socks, underwear (also don't fold...how stupid) and undershirts. Btw, I bought another hanging bar for the 6 yo closet so he could hang his own clothes. Now, I just rotate the out of season items to the top bar. Warning though to any thinking they should make their kids deal with their own clean clothes...I had to get over the wrinkled, falling off the hanger items. Frankly if they don't care, why should I. Love the blog!

Erin T. said...

Hahah! I haven't done either of my kids' laundry in about 4 years. I got tired of finding clean folded clothes under their dirty clothes in their baskets because they're too lazy to put their stuff away. They are now responsible for washing, drying and putting AWAY their own clothing.

If I have to do laundry, and their stuff is in either the washer or dryer (and they're asleep or gone or just plain "forgot about it") it goes to the floor, which happens to be where the dogs sleep, and they have to pay for the privilege of rewashing a load of laundry.

Needless to say - leaving a load of laundry in the dryer doesn't happen often!

Bina said...

My biggest gripe is washing so many freaking towels! My daugher uses two every freaking day. Hello! You are clean when you get out! Hang them up and use them again at LEAST one more time!

Who the fuck irons's their sheets? I take mine straight from the dryer to the bed. There is NOTHING better than getting in a freshly made bed with sheets straight from the dryer, especially if you shave your legs right before you go to bed.

Heaven I tell ya.

Melissa said...

You should do a husband-shit rant too, unless your husband is more organized than mine. I somehow get blamed when my husband can't find something that I haven't even seen before.
Anyway, I HATE putting away laundry. I can fold and sort, but putting it away is the biggest pain in the ass! I'm horrible about hanging stuff up in the closet. It all ends up on the floor of the closet instead. Especially on weeks that we have a cleaning service.
I feel your pain!

Karen MEG said...

I don't fold underwear either.

I once knew a girl who ironed SOCKS - WTF???? After she told me that I couldn't have a normal conversation with her, because seriously, I thought she was a total idiot.

Awesome rant!

Jules said...

LOVE this post!! I despise laundry and all of the time it takes to do an unrewarding, never ending, PITA job!! My kiddos (8,6 & 3) have baskets - 1 for socks, 1 for underwear (not folded ... WHY bother?!) on shelves in their closets. ALL shirts are hung, PJs go in one drawer, denim/jeans & khakis go in the next, sweats in another, & shorts in the last. Each person has a basket for their things when they come out of the dryer/off the hanging drying rack. My older two carry theirs down to their rooms and then help their little sis. I fold towels, remake the beds ASAP. The dishtowels and washcloths get folded/rolled by the kiddos. Ironing - another RIDICULOUSLY thankless & stupid task! - gets done on an as-needed basis, and only when the steam ball doesn't work!
For years I have said that doing laundry is just like living "Groundhog Day" over & over again! So happy to see I'm not all alone! = )

Nyokun said...

What I HATE HATE HATE the most is when you are in a small building with only two washers and two dryers.

Some laundry days are busy in my building.

There are signs up stating that you should remove your stuff as soon as it's done, because others need to use the machines. Subsequently, there is a small chance that someone might pull your stuff out if it's done and just sitting there in the machine.

I hate that some people are dicks about this and will pull the following person's stuff out, while it's in mid cycle, and leave it anywhere, with the machine door open, wasting their laundry money and not letting their stuff finish drying in the process.

Totally cheezes me that some people are so inconsiderate like that.