I’ve got a million other things to do but laundry just interrupted my life so now I’m going on a laundry rant since I just spent an hour folding about 7 loads of kid’s clothes, 5 bed’s worth of sheets and towels and dish towels. It has made me angry and venting about this stupid stupid STUPID chore will make me feel better. I already feel better as my fingers fly along the keyboard.
Anyone who loves doing laundry is a freaking idiot. Sorry, but you are. OK, I can understand someone loving the smell of laundry. I can understand someone LOVING the fact that all the laundry is done, but anyone in their right mind that actually says, “OH WOW, I get to do laundry today, I am SOOOOO excited… “
YOU ARE AN IMBECILE.
Are you out there?
Cuz if you are, you are a knucklehead.
It is NOT fun.
It’s a stupid chore with stupid ‘rules’ and I’m going to tell you the stupid rules that I cannot stand:
First of all, I cannot stand the fact that you are supposed to fold underwear. I refuse to fold underwear. WHY fold underwear? Seriously, that is the dumbest thing in the entire world to do. Let’s all fold a piece of clothing that goes onto your body that no one is going to see. Who cares if there is a crease in them where you’re supposed to fold them? Nope, I toss the underwear in the drawer. That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard. Let’s fold underwear.
OK, and actually, that’s not first. First and foremost is I hate putting clothes into a drawer. THAT is the dumbest thing. You have to TAKE THEM OUT OF THE DRAWER practically the very next day. Why on earth did someone create all these stupid rules for us WOMEN to do, because the majority of laundresses are WOMEN. We women are the ones doing the sorting, washing, drying, folding, taking into appropriate rooms, putting away into appropriate drawers only to have the appropriate kids rifle through them and yell to you that they can’t find their [jersey/jeggings/favorite orange shirt/basketball shirt/special shirt for spirit day] when you know for certain that you washed and folded it and put it right in their drawer just the other day and if they hadn’t trashed their drawers, they could easily find that damn item!
Can you tell I have some high blood pressure here?
Other stupid stuff I find in the system of doing laundry … SOCKS.
Sorting and matching socks is the other dumbest thing I’ve ever come across and about five years ago, I decided I am no longer doing it. I got rid of every sock in the house, started FRESH by buying everyone about eight new pairs and got sock bins for everyone. When the laundry is done, the appropriate kids’ sock goes into the bin it belongs to, and in the morning, the kid grabs two socks that inevitably matches. I NO LONGER MATCH SOCKS TOGETHER.
I hate socks and hate matching them and will never in my entire life do that again.
And tonight, after seeing the pile of clean clothes in my bedroom that needed to be sorted, folded and put away, I instituted another new family rule.
I am no longer folding the kids’ stuff anymore.
Nope. I have thrown in the proverbial laundry towel. Of course, it is a CLEAN proverbial towel. Because I DO ALL THE LAUNDRY IN THE HOUSE, but I am NOT FOLDING A TRILLION items anymore, only to have them yell at me that they can’t find this or that or where is my (FILL IN THE BLANK)… They are going to be responsible for their clothes from now on.
I will sort the boys’ clothes into one clothes basket. I will sort Diva’s clothes into one clothes basket. I will tell them to take them upstairs. I will inform them that those are their clean clothes. And that I don’t want to see them anymore.
What they do with them is their choice, although I will strongly suggest they put them into some drawers. I don’t care if they shove them in there. I don’t care if they fold them nicely. I don’t care how they do it. As long as I don’t have to fold their clothes anymore.
Because I think doing laundry SUCKS and I’m so tired of it, and it’s just a waste of time. It seriously is the most ridiculous thing in the world.
Oh wait, I thought of something MORE ridiculous than putting away clothes only to have to take them out the very next day…
Ironing sheets that you put onto your bed.
Why on earth do people do this? Please explain this one to me? Do you sleep better if there are no wrinkles on the sheet? Does it stop insomnia? Do the sheets smell better? Do you have better dreams? Does ironing the sheets help the flabby part of the arm (cuz if that’s the case, maybe I should give it a shot, cuz the ShakeWeight I bought isn’t doing the trick … but I guess I have to actually pick it up in order to have it work!
OK, I feel much better. Share your laundry gripes with me! Because if you’ve read this far, I know you don’t love laundry either! : )
If you liked this rant, please share the link with your friends. Send them an email with the link to this rant! My next rant will be Kid-Shit Rant ... Why they can never find their shit when they had it last yet of course, we moms know exactly where that item is. I might change this blog name to MaNiCRaNt. Nice ring to it, huh?
Also, check back later this week as I'll be giving away Dawn Meehan's new book, You'll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth ... don't get me started on THAT rant!...
Update: Oh I am pissed off. The boys went upstairs and LEFT THE LAUNDRY BASKETS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE!!!!!!!