Minute With Manic
November 6, 2007
Blogger Name: Kay
Blogger URL/link: www.kayssimplelife.blogspot.com
Blogging since: April 2007
Manic: Hey there Kay! First of all, major apologies for the delay in getting your Minute With Manic up on the blog. I've tried to explain to the kids, my husband, and my employers that what I am doing here on Manic Mommy is of utmost importance! I'm bringing people together via the Internet! Who needs dinner? Who needs clean clothes? Who needs for mommy to help with homework? Why can't they just drive themselves to basketball and gymnastics, and while they're out, why can't they grab some groceries?
They clearly do not understand the meaning of the commitment I have made, and the importance of my job here during the month of November! So, let's get started, shall we? What’s the oldest item in your freezer and why haven’t you thrown it out yet?
Kay: I just cleaned out my freezer last week.
Manic: Yeah. Sure ya did. You're just saying that.
Kay: I did! But I still have old stuff in there. I can’t stand to throw food away.
Manic: Me either! It totally pains me when I have to toss stuff that I know is good, yet I also know no one in the Manic family is EVER going to eat it. Like my mother comes to visit and she's always dieting when she visits, so there's been a frozen Swedish Meatballs Lean Cuisine and a package of frozen broccoli in my freezer since like, um, July. And I can't throw it out. Because she'll be back! And she'll be dieting again!
Kay: Yes, but if it’s covered in ice, it has to go. I guess the oldest thing I have in there is Popsicles from three years ago.
Manic: Three years ago! Let me guess, they are GRAPE flavored!
Kay: Not sure, but they should stay good forever right? It's just frozen Kool-Aid!
Manic: Kay, darling. Clearly you have never tasted frozen freezer-burn. Please toss those in the garbage PRONTO. So, even though you just cleaned out your freezer, would you say usually your freezer is over or understocked?
Kay: Sadly, since I just cleaned it out, it’s pretty much empty.
Manic: ‘Cept for some stanky grape Popsicles that have ice fur on them!
Kay: It’s definitely time to go to Costco!
Manic: Those super stores scare me. We go to Sam’s like once every year, and that’s enough to make me crazy. So, I have the side-to-side freezer/refrigerator and I absolutely HATE that. You can’t even put frozen pizzas in there! When your freezer’s full, does a bunch of stuff fall out like it does in mine? I dropped a frozen Uncrustables on my big toe the other day. Hurt like a mutha-effer!
Kay: When it's full, stuff falls out. No one in my house has my talent to get as much stuff as possible into a little bitty space.
Manic: OMG! I totally know what you mean! Like all this talk of food and groceries and freezers and stuff, and yesterday I went to get groceries. You should see me do the “I’m-pissed-at-my-freezer” dance every time I try to restock it. Ask the kids how the matching song goes to the dance. Lots of four-letter words. Anyway, how 'bout your purse? What is in your purse currently?
Kay: I love my purse! I got it on eBay two years ago and I get so many comments on it.
Manic: Like, “OMG, I LOVE YOUR PURSE WHERE DID YOU GET IT?” That kind of stuff? I bet you love telling people you got it off eBay!
Kay: It’s huge! I can put snacks, books, toys and any other crap my kids throw at me in it!
Manic: Perhaps you might put some Popsicles in there too! Do you change out your purse cuz I know some people who have a different purse to match every outfit!
Kay: I usually change my purse twice a year. I have a spring/summer one, and then a fall/winter one.
Manic: Guess you’d want to put those Popsicles in the fall/winter one then, and not the spring/summer one. So what’s in your purse now?
Kay: My purse is full of junk. Tons of receipts.
Manic: Mine too!
Kay: Pens, coupons, lollipops, Carmex, tampons, crayons…
Manic: Crayons? Are you crazy? You do not put crayons in your purse. Don’t you know what happens when they crack and crumble? That’s asking to ruin your purse! Not too smart there Kay!
Kay: Power compact…
Manic: Power compact? I could use one of those. Like Red Bull in a compact, huh? That’s GENIUS! Oh, you must mean POWDER compact! I get it!
Kay: There’s more. Change, lotion, Kleenex, hand sanitizer, band-aids, Legos, my wallet, photo album, a plastic whistle, hair ties, combs, ticket stubs, my iPod, my camera, directions to places, cracker crumbs, keys, sunglasses (3 pair!), a tape measure, a marble, a bionicle mask, mini notebook, Curiously Strong Altoid gum, and a bottle of water. Wow this was like Let's Make A Deal!
Manic: You could totally just throw your kid in there probably. Say, “Hey kid, you bored? Jump in! There’s plenty for you to play with!” And by the way, I bet like how some people didn’t know what The Gong Show was, there are probably a couple folks out there who are like, “What’s Make A Deal?” And, interesting that you brought up the Altoids cuz I have a big problem with them. They give me HEADACHES! Seriously, I take one whole Altoid and I have to just chip off about an eighth of it if I’m needing a mint. And by the way, have you heard about how you can enhance your sex life with Altoids? I bet Nerdy Redneck Rob knows all about that! So, gum or mints?
Kay: I prefer gum, but I don’t chew it in public. It makes me think people are wondering what I am eating, so I usually just chew in the car.
Manic: I usually just chew on youtube!
And after I made that video, some random chick retaliated with making her own COW video, and I think it was a dig at me:
But, I am not too sure if she was trying to be mean, or trying to be funny. What do you think?
Kay: I think it’s time we discussed me again!
Manic: OK, sorry! I know you’ve been waiting for a long time for your interview, but it’s been crazy over here at the Manic house. Crazy I tell ya! Anyway, talk about bad breath, if you will, not that you have it, because I haven’t exactly gotten close enough, but in general, what do you think about gum and bad breath?
Kay: If I’m going somewhere and I feel like my breath is bad, I’ll whip out a piece. And my fave is Curiously Strong Altoids Gum, and I can’t just say Altoids. I have to say CURIOUSLY STRONG ALTOIDS. I love to give them to people and see their eyeballs pop out.
Manic: Like this?
[URGENT WARNING: If you thought all the barf talk over at The Gang’s All Here Minute was gross, you DO NOT want to watch this video of me popping my eyeball out when Kay gives me the piece of gum. Just sayin’]
Kay: Didn’t I tell you!? CURIOUSLY STRONG! I recommend Altoids. Good for so many things: fresh breath, clears out your contacts by making your eyes water, and helps with a stuffy nose!
Manic: You know Kay, while you stepped out to brush your teeth, your sister stopped by. She was looking for some Altoids in that big ass purse of yours.
Kay: MY SISTER!?!? What’s she trying to do, sneak in on my Minute With Manic just cuz she ain’t never gonna be picked!
Manic: Now, now, Kay, you know these Minutes are random, and your sister has just as much of a chance as you did. Now, didn’t you want to say something about the best thing in your life being your little sister, your sister, Melek? I hear she’s wonderful, and gorgeous, and so much fun to be around! I’m really hoping after I pop my eyeballs back into their sockets, I’ll possibly be able to pick her for a Minute With Manic. I’d love to know what’s in her freezer and purse!