Tuesday, November 06, 2007

November 6, 2007

Minute With Manic
November 6, 2007
Blogger Name: Kay
Blogger URL/link: www.kayssimplelife.blogspot.com
Blogging since: April 2007



Manic: Hey there Kay! First of all, major apologies for the delay in getting your Minute With Manic up on the blog. I've tried to explain to the kids, my husband, and my employers that what I am doing here on Manic Mommy is of utmost importance! I'm bringing people together via the Internet! Who needs dinner? Who needs clean clothes? Who needs for mommy to help with homework? Why can't they just drive themselves to basketball and gymnastics, and while they're out, why can't they grab some groceries?

They clearly do not understand the meaning of the commitment I have made, and the importance of my job here during the month of November! So, let's get started, shall we? What’s the oldest item in your freezer and why haven’t you thrown it out yet?

Kay: I just cleaned out my freezer last week.

Manic: Yeah. Sure ya did. You're just saying that.

Kay: I did! But I still have old stuff in there. I can’t stand to throw food away.

Manic: Me either! It totally pains me when I have to toss stuff that I know is good, yet I also know no one in the Manic family is EVER going to eat it. Like my mother comes to visit and she's always dieting when she visits, so there's been a frozen Swedish Meatballs Lean Cuisine and a package of frozen broccoli in my freezer since like, um, July. And I can't throw it out. Because she'll be back! And she'll be dieting again!

Kay: Yes, but if it’s covered in ice, it has to go. I guess the oldest thing I have in there is Popsicles from three years ago.

Manic: Three years ago! Let me guess, they are GRAPE flavored!

Kay: Not sure, but they should stay good forever right? It's just frozen Kool-Aid!

Manic: Kay, darling. Clearly you have never tasted frozen freezer-burn. Please toss those in the garbage PRONTO. So, even though you just cleaned out your freezer, would you say usually your freezer is over or understocked?

Kay: Sadly, since I just cleaned it out, it’s pretty much empty.

Manic: ‘Cept for some stanky grape Popsicles that have ice fur on them!

Kay: It’s definitely time to go to Costco!

Manic: Those super stores scare me. We go to Sam’s like once every year, and that’s enough to make me crazy. So, I have the side-to-side freezer/refrigerator and I absolutely HATE that. You can’t even put frozen pizzas in there! When your freezer’s full, does a bunch of stuff fall out like it does in mine? I dropped a frozen Uncrustables on my big toe the other day. Hurt like a mutha-effer!

Kay: When it's full, stuff falls out. No one in my house has my talent to get as much stuff as possible into a little bitty space.

Manic: OMG! I totally know what you mean! Like all this talk of food and groceries and freezers and stuff, and yesterday I went to get groceries. You should see me do the “I’m-pissed-at-my-freezer” dance every time I try to restock it. Ask the kids how the matching song goes to the dance. Lots of four-letter words. Anyway, how 'bout your purse? What is in your purse currently?

Kay: I love my purse! I got it on eBay two years ago and I get so many comments on it.

Manic: Like, “OMG, I LOVE YOUR PURSE WHERE DID YOU GET IT?” That kind of stuff? I bet you love telling people you got it off eBay!

Kay: It’s huge! I can put snacks, books, toys and any other crap my kids throw at me in it!

Manic: Perhaps you might put some Popsicles in there too! Do you change out your purse cuz I know some people who have a different purse to match every outfit!

Kay: I usually change my purse twice a year. I have a spring/summer one, and then a fall/winter one.

Manic: Guess you’d want to put those Popsicles in the fall/winter one then, and not the spring/summer one. So what’s in your purse now?

Kay: My purse is full of junk. Tons of receipts.

Manic: Mine too!

Kay: Pens, coupons, lollipops, Carmex, tampons, crayons…

Manic: Crayons? Are you crazy? You do not put crayons in your purse. Don’t you know what happens when they crack and crumble? That’s asking to ruin your purse! Not too smart there Kay!

Kay: Power compact…

Manic: Power compact? I could use one of those. Like Red Bull in a compact, huh? That’s GENIUS! Oh, you must mean POWDER compact! I get it!

Kay: There’s more. Change, lotion, Kleenex, hand sanitizer, band-aids, Legos, my wallet, photo album, a plastic whistle, hair ties, combs, ticket stubs, my iPod, my camera, directions to places, cracker crumbs, keys, sunglasses (3 pair!), a tape measure, a marble, a bionicle mask, mini notebook, Curiously Strong Altoid gum, and a bottle of water. Wow this was like Let's Make A Deal!

Manic: You could totally just throw your kid in there probably. Say, “Hey kid, you bored? Jump in! There’s plenty for you to play with!” And by the way, I bet like how some people didn’t know what The Gong Show was, there are probably a couple folks out there who are like, “What’s Make A Deal?” And, interesting that you brought up the Altoids cuz I have a big problem with them. They give me HEADACHES! Seriously, I take one whole Altoid and I have to just chip off about an eighth of it if I’m needing a mint. And by the way, have you heard about how you can enhance your sex life with Altoids? I bet Nerdy Redneck Rob knows all about that! So, gum or mints?

Kay: I prefer gum, but I don’t chew it in public. It makes me think people are wondering what I am eating, so I usually just chew in the car.

Manic: I usually just chew on youtube!



And after I made that video, some random chick retaliated with making her own COW video, and I think it was a dig at me:



But, I am not too sure if she was trying to be mean, or trying to be funny. What do you think?

Kay: I think it’s time we discussed me again!

Manic: OK, sorry! I know you’ve been waiting for a long time for your interview, but it’s been crazy over here at the Manic house. Crazy I tell ya! Anyway, talk about bad breath, if you will, not that you have it, because I haven’t exactly gotten close enough, but in general, what do you think about gum and bad breath?

Kay: If I’m going somewhere and I feel like my breath is bad, I’ll whip out a piece. And my fave is Curiously Strong Altoids Gum, and I can’t just say Altoids. I have to say CURIOUSLY STRONG ALTOIDS. I love to give them to people and see their eyeballs pop out.

Manic: Like this?
[URGENT WARNING: If you thought all the barf talk over at The Gang’s All Here Minute was gross, you DO NOT want to watch this video of me popping my eyeball out when Kay gives me the piece of gum. Just sayin’]



Kay: Didn’t I tell you!? CURIOUSLY STRONG! I recommend Altoids. Good for so many things: fresh breath, clears out your contacts by making your eyes water, and helps with a stuffy nose!

Manic: You know Kay, while you stepped out to brush your teeth, your sister stopped by. She was looking for some Altoids in that big ass purse of yours.

Kay: MY SISTER!?!? What’s she trying to do, sneak in on my Minute With Manic just cuz she ain’t never gonna be picked!

Manic: Now, now, Kay, you know these Minutes are random, and your sister has just as much of a chance as you did. Now, didn’t you want to say something about the best thing in your life being your little sister, your sister, Melek? I hear she’s wonderful, and gorgeous, and so much fun to be around! I’m really hoping after I pop my eyeballs back into their sockets, I’ll possibly be able to pick her for a Minute With Manic. I’d love to know what’s in her freezer and purse!

43 comments:

My Semblance of Sanity said...

Once again...you had me ROFL!!!
This was great and I LOVE that picture with the flinging hair!!
Too funny....
My guess she is dancing to the song....ummmm....
"Dancin' Queen..."
Can ya see it?

Thanks again for your entertainment!

I have been refreshing your page for over an hour waiting for your newest interview!!

:)
Have a good night!

Melek said...

woohoo! loved it! and yes, she ALWAYS says 'curiously strong altoids' as in "would you like a curiously strong altoid?" i think she has a deal with altoids and makes like .01¢ every time she says it or something :)

and you'd TOTALLY win on lets make a deal! you'd need to throw in a book of stamps and a spool of thread, but otherwise, i think you have it down!

Melek said...

dangit, I was supposed to be first post. i've been refreshing since 2pm.

and btw, that eyeball thing is just disgusting.......

My Semblance of Sanity said...

HAHAHAHA
Just went to check out Kay's sight....her 2nd fave song is...none other than Dancin Queen!!!

I SWEAR I hadn't been on her site yet when I wrote that!!

HAHA

DANG I AM GOOD!!

Manic Mom said...

You guys ROCK! Now excuse me while I find my eyeball. I think it fell into the freezer when I was looking for the Popsicles.

Melissa said...

That eyeball thing really turned my stomach...ick!!

I can't eat Altoids either. They burn the first layer of my tongue off, that's not curious its just plain dangerous!! :)

Another great interview...who's up next?

Manic Mom said...

Tune in tomorrow for the first-ever Male Minute With Manic...

Be afraid. Be very afraid...

KATE said...

I love having everything but the kitchen sink in my purse/diaper bag! Nothing is better than when you hear, "I wish I had some :insert something very random: & I can say "Hey, I have that!"
That is fabulous!!
Great Post!

Melek said...

i can do the altoid gum, but not the mints... has anyone tried the chocolate dipped ones? those look yummy!

and the hair pic of K, she was showing us that her hair was as long as (or maybe longer than) her arm span. it's super long and really beautiful. i'm totally jealous of her hair. people don't only randomly compliment her purse, they stop her to compliment her hair. constantly. it's really annoying. :)

Shelley said...

Ok, that eyeball thing is just bizarre! And I don't like gum, but mints are good.

Let's Make a Deal was so part of my childhood. Monty Hall was the man! Do you have a bobby pin in your purse? Do you want to trade it for this box, or what's behind curtain number 2? Carol Merrill, show her what she's won!! I always loved when it was a donkey.

Damn, I'm old.

domestic_valerie said...

Manic where do you get your questions? The oldest thing in the freezer? Brilliant.

I am afraid of the oldest thing in my freezer...I think it's meat from a year or so ago. But DON"T ask about he freezer on my porch. More stomach turning and eyeball popping for sure.

Drewpy Drew said...

I'm glad to you are interviewing a dude. It's about time. Is it me?

Melisa said...

Nice tour of your office. I love the descriptions:

"Here's (a photo of) me laying on something I thought was cool..."

And POSITIVE rejection letters? I had no idea there was such a thing! I wanna see them sometime!

kay said...

manic that was sooo worth the wait!!

and it was wayyy funnier that i thought it was going to be. (because of my answers not b/c of what you would write)

did i see grapes somewhere? maybe those were eyeballs

i can't wait for my sis to get interviewed so i can get a shoutout on her minute! go away mel!! :)

Colorado Writer said...

OMG. The eyeball is burned on my retina!

And I can't believe how much stuff is in your purse.

I have my wallet, a calendar, a chapstick, sunglasses, cellphone, pack of gum, keys and floss.

Seriously.

Manic Mom said...

Drew, maybe you've got something there--keep annoying me and I'll 'randomly' pick you just to get you off my back! LOL!!!! Kidding of course, you know we go way back and I heart ya!

Domestic--I make up the questions, depending on what I'm doing throughout the day and what I might want to know of the readers. Just hope I don't think up some while on the potty!

Kay--glad you liked it! You done good girlfriend!!! But tell that dang sista of yours to quit harrassing me... LOLOLOL! Totally kidding!

Michelle said...

Again, SO hilarious!

Kristabella said...

I think I'm glad at this moment that we can't watch streaming video at work! :)

kim said...

Just like double-mints has to be said, "Two, two mints in one".

JODI said...

I need to voice my opinion…so don’t despise for it…Uncrustables are the epitome of a mother’s ability to make a sandwich. Think about it, you could make PBJ’s using a knife to remove the crust for half of China for what it cost to purchase 4 frozen sandwiches. Come on people!

You on the other hand have brought me to admit that the Smoothie frozen fruit I have had in my freezer for 4 years…with its coat of beautifully crystallized ice fur, has to go. Like 3.75 years ago. So I thank you and my family thanks you.

Altoids rock…especially the cinnamon, mostly because; I am allergic to peppermint & spearmint. My husband hates them so that makes me like them more…I don’t have to share and am assured my fresh breath enhancer is always available. The Tic-Tac sucks!

Here’s a fun little look at gum chewing http://www.mr.rheinecker.yearbookhigh.com/custom.html
My baby girl’s 7th grade history teacher (great-fun teacher) has an aversion to gum chewing. So you may enjoy “The Gum Cup History” page of his website.

The eyeball YouTube…sick, gross-o, nasty, just wrong.

Rob said...

>>And by the way, have you heard about how you can enhance your sex life with Altoids? I bet Nerdy Redneck Rob knows all about that! <<

Well sure! However, all of the published literature focuses on how it feels when the man is the recipient. Being an amateur scientist I believe we need to collect data on the effect when women are the recipients of the treatment. So anyone who would like to volunteer just drop me a line. I mean it's in the name of science. Your not against science now are you? (BTW- plain old coffee is great too, just get the mouth hot then…)

The eyeball thing! OMG! That guys is nuts! He is so crazy I bet he goes around the aisles of Wal-mart licking toys made in China! Daredevil!

Wow, you guys tagged the "cascading freezer of fear" perfectly. My room mate only buys food, she never eats it. So the fridge just gets fuller and fuller! To defend my tender toes I have learned to open the freezer with a broom handle so my feet are not under the avalanche of frozen one time goodies.

In all fairness to my lovely house mate though, when food in the refrigerator part turns to liquid or sprouts roots she will grudgingly throw it away. Sadly, things that are already liquidy, such as sour cream can live in there for years! {shiver}

Manic Mom said...

Easy there Rob, on the recipient thing--this is not MATCH.COM... I don't want to have to flag you for your comments!!!

Everyone, UNITE!!! Go to your freezer right this minute. Throw out two items. You can do it! I know you can! Throw them out, and then tell me what you tossed!

And yeah, about the Uncrustables--sometimes I take a big plastic cup and cut out circles from my own bread to make them, or I used to make heart sandwiches, because yes, I am just that kind of mom!

And for Jodi--HOW can one be allergic to spearmint and peppermint? What would happen if you were making out with someone who has been chewing gum?!?!?

Rob said...

>>I don't want to have to flag you for your comments!!!<<

Sorry! I thought the "Do it for science" thing was a good punchline. I'll be good though.

Eileen said...

What the hell is an "uncrustable?"

Swishy said...

Match.com! Do it for science! I am cracking up over here.

Look, any time the woman is the recipient of anything, I can get on board with that. HA.

Andie said...

I'm going to have to get some curiously strong altoids for this years' cold/flu season. LOL

I'm glad I'm not the only one with that much stuff in my purse.

Andrea said...

Hehe. I always thought having a side-by-side would be great, but now that I have one, it totally sucks! My hubby removed the middle shelf just so we could put frozen pizzas in there, so now everything is just kind of stacked hairy-kary. Of course, the thing I need is ALWAYS at the bottom of the stack...

And dangit! I can't see the videos at work! (no one mention that I should be working) I'll have to remember to check from home... I HAVE to see this eyeball thing.

My Semblance of Sanity said...

BTW...you SOOOOO outranked the retaliating chewer!!!!

She doesn't hold a candle to your chewing abilities!!

She obviously doesn't practice b/c anyone knows that to hit heights of lip-slapping never heard before you need more than one #$%^&-ing piece of gum in your mouth!!

SHEESH!

Manic Mom said...

Rob, you're not in trouble honey. That was just your first warning here on MM. You get three! LOL!!

Eileen--an Uncrustable is a smuckers round PB&J sandwich you keep in the freezer. The perfect food.

Swish--you better watch out for what you're saying. Our buddy Rob might offer to lick your heels or something kinky like that!

Semblance -- so funny that I am chewing right now and I clued in on it and it sounds terrifyingly gross, and guess what? I am a champion chewer and in that video--yep, one piece of gum, probably Orbit, or something of that line of gums! SMACK SMACK, CHEW CHEW

Jen38 said...

Another fabulous interview Manic and very fun to learn about Kay.

My family doesnt't understand my need to blog, and neglecting them either!

I am so looking forward to your exclusive male-minute interview!

T with Honey said...

I refuse to throw away the 5 year old frozen cherries. I think Honey wins some strange bet if they ever leave our freezer.

And I could really use some Altoids right now. My group at work had yet another going away lunch where I was forced to pay almost $20 to eat some form of nasty Asian cuisine. I don't mean Tums, I want Altoids to kill the aftertaste in my mouth.

Loving these interviews! It's the only thing keeping me awake at my desk this week.

Robin said...

I love Cinnamon Altoids, but I have been known to switch seats if the person next to me is eating somthing Wintergreen. Just thinking about it makes my stomach churn.

crystal said...

Manic! Great interview! I had fun learning more about Crazy-Kay. I think as long as your eyeball is rolling around, maybe you could just pop IT into the freezer!

Nana said...

My sister, who is a HOT 56 year old, always carriews a Tampon, toothbrush, KY Jelly and some other stuff! When she is at a bar and a guy asks for her phone number(she always gives the right number by mistake), she reaches in her purse and pulls out the tampon and feigns surprise. She just wants the guys to think she still has her period!

JODI said...

Since I already tosseed the four year old Smoothie frozen ice furred fruit.. I am accepting the challenge and tossing the Kaukauna smoky bacon rolled in almonds genuine Wisconsin spreadcheese ball my neighbor (god love her) gave me for Christmas 2006. There I am saved at least five people from food poisoning. I feel better, thank you manic. You are saving the world one blogger at a time.

JODI said...

manic now you are asking for me to divuldge my spearmint/peppermint allergy...man girl first you want the Pitt info and now this. Okay since I am holding out on the Pitt story I will tell you that I can kiss someone who is chewing peepermint/spearmint gum I just can't chew it, it makes it hard for me to breath. If I do chew it I am puffing on my inhaler. And...who makes out anymore-- unless you are a teenager?

I am happy to know you are creating homemade uncrustables.

Melek said...

i have bagged peaches in the freezer that have been there at least a year as i moved them from my last house to this one. when i buy my new fridge i'm throwing them out. i swear.

The Gang's All Here! said...

Manic: another great interview, making all us fellow bloggers look scintillating and quirky and charming all at once.

Jodi: all us married folks should be "ma*ing out" at least once a week - keeps things fresh, flirty, and fun!

Manic Mom said...

Oh my mother aka Nana is commenting on this post! And she's right though, my aunt, her 56-year old sister is SMOKIN' HOT!!! A total babe! I love both of 'em!

And I bet that cheese ball was still good. Drat.

Working on today's post. Another day where life got in the way of my blogging!

Kate said...

Wow! So much fun. :) I am enjoying this new feature. I just got home last night and wow--you've been busy!

JODI said...

Now I don't know if I should rescue the cheese ball or make out with my husband. Hold on, I'm gonna ask King Ralph if he wants to make out.....

Colorado Writer said...

My BFF had the last breast milk (think of the last melon from Ice Age) in her freezer forever. Her oldest is 5. She just couldn't throw it out.

Hi JoJo!

Crazymamaof6 said...

holy cow! this was entertainment at it's best! and EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW in that eyeball!
and i feel like curiously strong altoids gum is fabulous! for cutting the phlegm when you feel ill from morning sickness! it is true! it totally works unless just having something in your mouth makes you sick. at least it helps me not vomit. I'm just sayin'! wow! lucky Kay! getting to be famous and all!