YeLLoWSToNe & My NeW LaPToP

So, I am going to blog from my bedroom and see how it goes. I’m not used to this but I just got a Dell mini-inspiron 10-inch laptop. My big joke is that I never thought a mere ten inches would be so satifying! So, I’m just checking out the features and the ease of this keyboard as I lay in my bed. It’s 11:31 p.m. and I am still in the pajamas I slept in last night, never took a shower, or put in my contacts, or even had to sniff a bra today because I didn’t bother to put one on!

It’s looking like I’m digging this little laptop. Am I so 1980s? I never owned a laptop till right now. And it only cost $299 so if I eff it up, it’s not like I’m effing up a thousand dollar dealio, don’t ya know?

Saturday we are leaving for YellowHell Yellowstone. I will be excited once we arrive there. I guess. We are staying in some rustic cabins that I have heard mixed reviews, including that they smell like piss. Good times, good times. I may be able to blog from there, or at least part of the trip as during the second half of our YellowHell Yellowstone trip, we are going to JacksonHell. Oops, I mean Jackson Hole. I am going with the shittiest expectations because that way, nothing will suck.

Mr.Manic has been a traveling fool, and if he was in his old job, and sleeping right next to me, he’d yell that I needed to turn off the lights. So I guess that’s a positive. Also, the no getting dressed all day part, or showering, or doing much of anything are a couple other positives to having him travel. A downside: Tukey is going through a phase. Where he can’t fall asleep on his own. I swear, I laid down with him tonight and I felt like it was back in the old days of having to be with your kid until he fell asleep. Then he asked when Daddy was coming home. They can’t articulate it very well, but they go through rough spots too. When we moved here, I thought the move was going to be hardest on Diva and Ajers, but it turned out it affected Tukey the most, even though he was only 3. He kept saying, “I want to go home” meaning his old house in PA. It just takes time. And who knows, with all this traveling Mr. Manic is doing, maybe we’ll have to move again someday. I just wrote that so it wouldn’t happen. Like a jinx. But really, I don’t know where things will take us.

Now I’m really rambling and need to get some sleep. This’ll probably be the last post I write before we leave and who knows, if I get chomped up by a bear, then this’ll be my last post EVER!
Peace UP!

Oh, and wow, this is my 801st post on Manic Mommy, although I had about 400 posts on my old blog, Manic Mom's Mental Myriads!

BooK WiNNeRS

Well, I had planned on doing a Booking with Manic type video to announce all the winners but there's a lot to do before I risk life and limb in Yellowstone National Park so I didn't have time to put together a video.

This is how I chose the winners. I assigned everyone a number and asked Ajers and Tukey to choose four numbers. They picked all the numbers of their favorite sports players, so if you won, you can thank them. If you didn't win, I'm sorry, but I had NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

Here are the winners:

Bina
Hally
Jennifer C
Through The Haze

Please email me your full names and addresses ASAP if you want the books before I leave for vacation and get eaten by a bear! Email your info to: manicmommy@comcast.net.

Thanks to everyone who entered, and don't worry, I'll have more books to give away later!

WaTeR SLiDe

Will be choosing winners to the book giveaway tonight. In the meantime, check out what may happen if you go out of town and leave your children HOME ALONE! ...

MaNiC MoMeNT

So, before I start this post, let me just say hello to my mom and dad who are always reading, and also to those neighbors of mine who read this blog but never comment or let me know they are reading. YOU know who you are! In fact, if you look out your window right now I may be driving by and honking, unless you’re in a cul-de-sac. I bet that freaked you all out now for sure huh?

Anyway, this is a big update blog post because I was thinking that I tell you guys a bunch of stuff and never follow up on it. So, that’s what I’m gonna try to do here.

The lipwax has been OK. I got a bit injured by it actually and it looked like I had herpes for the first few days, which bothered me. And also when I would lick my upper lip it felt kinda weird, like naked weird. I am waiting for all the hairs to grow back darker and heavier, but so far, it’s OK (but of course, what do I know, I walked around for 40 years with a mustache!).

And speaking of 40, that’s weird too. Sometimes I lie in my bed and think to myself, “My God, I am a 40-year-old woman.” I don’t THINK I look like a 40-year-old woman. I don’t think I feel like a 40-year-old woman, but I am. And it kinda makes me sad to think that this is my body for the rest of my life. I mean, I know I could go to some great lengths to be more fit, foxier and whatever, but I’m just not that into it. I think the best I ever looked is gone, and that was when I was 20. But sometimes I still feel like I’m that young. I don’t ever think that I’m like an old lady, you know? Not that 40 is old, but shit. Michael Jackson just died and he was only 10 years older than me. That’s fucked up.

On the homefront: Well, Mr. Manic has been traveling for about a month now. I have just made up my mind that he is gone from Monday to Friday. We’re figuring things out. For one, when he’s home now, he is in my way, and there is not enough office space here for the two of us. I know, I know, it’s his JOB but it’s MY office, and I get a bit territorial. Like I don’t want him on my computer (for one, because it’s acting all freaky, and for two, BECAUSE!). But I think we’ll both be getting laptops in the future. Anyway, when he’s gone, I admit I am very lazy. He’s not here to need dinner, and the kids don’t give a shit what they eat. And I haven’t been doing much laundry. Cuz yeah, I’m lazy that way and can wear the same shorts three days or more in a row. I don’t give a shit. And even today, I was getting dressed and I picked up my bra and SNIFFED it to see if it was clean enough for me to wear. It was, and I am. And when I sniffed it, I thought, “Well, that is a strange habit, I wonder if anyone else out there does that?” Do you?

And it’s been hard being here alone with the kids, I’ll admit it. (Shit, I’ll admit anything on this blog pretty much, huh?) I am not the kind of mom who puts the kids in camp over the summer, and there’s not much else to do but go to the pool and with 60-degree freaking weather in Chicago, who wants to go to the pool.

And yeah, that experiment we were working on with the kids where I pay them each week and they buy their own crap? Well, the theory is GREAT! But I am not sure it’s going to work with my children. No one wants to spend their money, or go anywhere, but then they bitch to me that they’re bored and there’s nothing to do. So, we didn’t do anything on Monday or Tuesday (mostly in part because Ajers was sick and then my computer died for about a half-day) and by yesterday I was climbing the freaking walls. Diva went to the zoo with a friend, so I told the boys we’d go out for lunch and putt-putt. And yeah, I paid. I think I need to tweak that little plan a bit. Maybe I will give them less money and the money I give them will be for like ice cream and snacks at the pool. Or maybe I will try it another week when we can focus. Suggestions from anyone are welcome!

So, back to the part about it being hard to be home alone with the kids, because I kind of got off on a tangent with that. I desperately needed to get out of the house and AWAY from the kids. I don’t ever just get a babysitter when Mr. Manic is not here for myself. I just have never really done that. But I know I need some very desperate ME time. Oh yeah, which reminds me that here is a clip of me confessing about wanting ME time:

ABCNews post where I confess about needing Mommy Time.

I totally had strep throat when I recorded that by the way. And here’s the beginning of that whole interview, if you are so inclined …

Beginning of ABC Post on Mommy Time.

Romi Lassally, founder of TruuConfessions has become a friend and she hooked me up on that video. Check out her site and make your own confession! We’ve all got ‘em!

Tired of reading yet? Well, the more I type, the better I am feeling. And that’s another thing. I have started work on my second manuscript again, and I have about 40-50,000 words that are in some semblance of a book. I need to keep plugging away on that one.

And that’s the thing I’m discovering. Only ME can make me happy. So I need to focus on the things that I enjoy doing and appreciating the great stuff I have in my life. Yeah, it’s sucking a bit that Mr. Manic is traveling and that I worry every time he gets on a plane. Yeah, it’s sucking to have to entertain the kids 24-7, although we make the best out of it and I don’t yell too much. OK, that’s a lie. I yell all the time. I wish someone would record me throughout the day and just play back to me how much I yell. That might make me stop.

Oh, and Yellowstone, which we are leaving for in a week from Saturday. The good news is that while I thought our cabins were not equipped with toilets and showers (basically, a BATHROOM!), I was misled. We do have indoor plumbing and let me tell you, that is going to make a world of difference! We are scheduled to go on horseback campfire tours and a white water rafting tour and a bunch of other stuff that is completely out of my comfort zone and league. But I guess what doesn’t kill you, doesn’t kill you right?

And when I return, I am going to be attending my first ever BlogHer event right here in Chicago. I will be there to represent, obviously, duh, my blog, and also BettyConfidential.com, the awesome website that I am associate editor for. If you haven’t checked it out, please do! There’s celebrity gossip, health, love and sex, parenting, and much, much more over there. And if you’re a writer and can write well (or at least well enough), feel free to contact me with any article ideas. We’re always looking!

SHIT, there’s more to tell you! I will choose the winner of the GREAT BOOK GIVEAWAY on Monday so you all still have until midnight on Sunday (or is that midnight on Monday?) to enter. So go there now!

And I’m not even going to go back and edit this post, but thanks for reading, thanks for being a part of Manic’s life, and thanks for stopping to take a breath, because I don’t think I did during this whole freaking post.

Happy Independence Day Weekend! Be safe - wear a condom!

aN eXPeRiMeNT

I buy my kids a lot of crap. Not crap, but we'll be out and just get an ice cream cone for the hell of it, or if we're at the pool and they want a snack, well, I'll buy 'em a snack. And we go to the movies, out to lunch, etc. etc. and yeah, it adds up. A lot.

So, I'm trying a money experiment with them and decided to give them a set amount of cash each Monday in which they will be responsible for using that money for the activities we do. If we go to the movies, they pay. If they want popcorn or candy or pop, they pay. If we go to Subway for lunch, they pay. They need to start realizing that a $5 footlong doesn't cost five dollars if you add bacon and extra cheese.

So I asked Mr. Manic how much he thinks I should give them each week (and I'm talking like a Monday through Friday deal).

How much would you think would be appropriate for all the weeks' activities - snacks, movies, bowling, pool junk, etc. Keep in mind I like to get them out of the house SOMEWHERE at least part of each day. Or maybe 3-4 days of the week. We don't do camps or other activities and the only thing we do all summer long is the pool.

So, how much? I asked Mr. Manic and he said, without another thought, "Ten bucks."

I laughed in his face. He has no clue. It costs that much to see a movie. Boy, we'd have a fun, fun week wouldn't we?

So, suffice it to say, I didn't settle on $10, but I didn't go crazy like $50 or anything like that.

But now they have their own money for this week and we're going to see how it goes. I suggested we go to TCBY's for some ice cream, cuz I wanted some ice cream. Diva and Tukey brought some of their money. AJers didn't want to. So, Diva, Tukey and I all bought our own ice cream with our own money, while AJers had a sample taste and then a couple of bites of my white chocolate mousse in a chocolate-and-sprinkled-covered waffle cone.

I think this is a good lesson for them to know how much money is actually spent ON THEM and also a good lesson in saving money. What do you guys think?

Oh, and please, don't forget to pop on over to This Post for a shot at winning a packet of five awesome books! Four of you will win books by authors such as Julie Buxbaum, Laura, Dave, Kristina Riggle, Maureen Lipinski, and more! Go there now to enter!

FRee BooKS: THe DiVoRCe PaRTY, THe oPPoSiTe oF LoVe, aND MoRe!

So, if you’ve come by here once or twice, you obviously know I have a passion for books and for authors, and that I would rather stock my closet with books than with shoes or handbags. I just love everything about a great author and her book (some men authors too, but we’re focusing on the ladies here!)

I’ve have RAVED about both Julie Buxbaum and Laura Dave on my blog and on BettyConfidential.com – they are incredible writers and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their books.

Here’s what I first wrote about Julie Buxbaum’s The Opposite of Love when it came out in hardcover: The Opposite of Love.

And you can read the interview here: INTERVIEW.

And here’s what I had to say about Laura Dave’s books: INTERVIEW (Note: You may ALSO enter THIS contest too to win The Divorce Party!)

So, these incredibly talented authors would like me to GIVE YOU THEIR BOOKS! And who am I to deny them their right to GIVE YOU THEIR BOOKS?

So yep, it’s another contest on Manic Mommy where you can win some great books. But there’s MORE!

You’ll want to check out Maureen Lipinski’s debut novel called A Bump in the Road, which is a book after my own heart! You guessed it, a mommy pregnancy book! And guess what, I’m giving THAT ONE AWAY TOO!

I had the chance to meet Maureen last night (we are like NEIGHBORS!), and along with Jen Lancaster (sorry - I already gave away her book!), SnarkyMommy, RoadTripMommy and Lisa (who needs to start blogging!) there was much love talk about books and cheesecake, and how I lured my adult babysitter with full bottles of Dewar’s Scotch! We also chatted about plumbers (of which my husband is not, NOT that there is anything wrong with it ... except ass crack), vaginal cerclages (or uterine, whatev), lighting hotel sheers on fire, and the usual whatnot!

So, back to the point of this post:

I am giving away a handful of books to FOUR LUCKY WINNERS! AND many of them are SIGNED by the authors! One is an ARC (advanced reading copy) that I already read, but still, they’re books! And they are FREE TO YOU, written by fabulous authors!

Every one of you will receive a copy of THE DIVORCE PARTY by Laura Dave to start off your awesome prize package of books!

The books I have to give away are:

The Divorce Party by Laura Dave (4)

The Opposite of Love by Julie Buxbaum (2)

A Bump in the Road by Maureen Lipinski (2)

Repeat After Me by Rachel DeWoskin (1)

Wife in the North by Judith O’Reilly (2)

Perfect on Paper by Maria Murnane (2) ... PS, read an interview HERE.

Draining the Sea by Micheline Aharonian Marcom (1)

On the Divinity of Second Chances by Kaya McLaren (2)

Dragons Prefer Blondes by Candace Havens (2)

The French Mistress by Susan Holloway Scott (2)

So, isn't this great!?!? All of these free books? And all you have to do is leave me a comment on why I should send YOU a package containing an assortment of FIVE of these awesome reads, and you’ll be entered to win. And yes, co-workers and family members MAY enter this one!

All right, GO TO IT! And GOOD LUCK!

MiSS iNDePeNDeNT

It’s hard sometimes to share what I want to share on here, what I feel I can share on here without being worried I will worry someone else or say something that I should have just kept to myself, but I can’t let other peoples’ thoughts prevent me from my own. This is why I have this blog. To get it out.

These days, I am Miss Independent. A long, long, long time ago, I was Miss Independent, long before Kelly Clarkston was even born probably – the song or the idea hadn’t even existed. But here I am Miss Independent with three children, with days and days and days of summer ahead, trying to figure out ways to fill them.

A long time ago, when I was Miss Independent, Mr. Manic was a cop. He was working shift work and I had been accustomed to being by myself for months at a time. And this was right before we were getting married, and in order to communicate (there were no cell phones back then), we would leave a notebook filled with messages on our kitchen counter to tell one another what we were doing that day, or how much we missed each other, or that we loved one another.

I would make dinners only for myself, and lived off buttered and parmesan noodles. I paid the bills. I did the laundry for the two of us. I went out with girlfriends, because he was not around. He was working.

He’s been gone a lot lately. Not in the Jon Gosselin way, NO! Don’t think THAT! Lots of travel, lots of it, and it’s an adjustment to be alone with the kids. I leave the house a mess, am a living, breathing Felix and Oscar – whichever one is the messy one, that’s me. And the day I know he is returning, I swirl through the house and make it all homemakerish and clean and nice. Because he has worked hard and deserves a clean home.

I am thankful he found work so soon after being let go from his other job, and really, this is a dream job come true for him. He is absolutely loving it. But selfish me is not loving not having him here. I guess I don’t want to learn to be Miss Independent again. I liked being Miss Dependent. He said the other night that this is good – it can bring me out of my comfort zone a little bit. What’s wrong with being dependent upon someone? Isn’t that part of what a marriage is? But then there’s the part that says, Me First. I have to do what makes me happy first. What makes me happy? My kids, my writing, my books, my work. My husband. But he’s not here. He’s out working, which includes a lot of travel, and it’s not that I’m jealous of what he’s doing. I’m jealous of what he’s not doing. He’s not here for basketball or softball, for pool time and tuck ins, for the normal stuff we are all so accustomed to him being here for. And I know I’ll get used to it. Because what other choice do I have? To pout and be bitchy the times he is home? No. I have to suck it up and become Miss Independent.

And there are some pros. I don’t have to cook ever if I didn’t want to, not that I did much of that when he was home every night. I can totally let the house go. I can let the kids stay up till whenever they pass out from sleep deprivation. We can all snuggle up in my bed. I can pull into the garage as asinine as I want and not have to share the extra space. I have my office all to myself … there are some good things.

But having him here and having him stressed about a job that he was more stressed than he ever let on, well, that wouldn’t be a good situation any longer. That situation is no more, and it’s a new situation, and we’re just adjusting, getting used to it. It’s like when you bring home that new baby, whether it’s the first or the second, or even the third. It takes some time to get used to the new format of life, and I guess that’s what I’m doing.

And it’s OK. I’ll be OK. The kids are great. Mr. Manic has never been happier, I think.

Today, when I told Diva I was a little sad and that I missed Daddy and I didn’t like him being away so much, she said something that struck me and I’ll hold this in my heart and think of how selfish I’ve been.

She said, “At least he comes home, and he’s not in Iraq.”

She’s absolutely right. How lucky are we.

HiKiNG and a LiPWaX

In less than a month, our family is venturing to YellowStone National Park. Have I mentioned this to you yet? Probably not, because this 'vacation' is akin to me being a contestant on Survivor.

Will I make it in the wilderness? Will a bear eat me? Will I have my period during our trip so a bear can easily sniff me out and THEN eat me? Will there be so many bugs that Tukey will get bitten to death and we'll end up with an allergic reaction that will land him in the hospital, and is there even a hospital out there? Will ANYONE in my family make it for an 1/2-day hike, much less an hour-long hike? How are we going to have fresh sheets on the beds if we are staying in a CABIN!? (Yes, I put the major kibosh on any outdoor sleeping) ... and yes, these are the things that keep me up at night.

But we're going! So I'd love any outdoorsy hikey recommendations if any of you have them. And in preparation for this 'trip,' we all went and purchased hiking shoes, and yesterday, Mr. Manic, Ajers and I went on a test-drive HIKE out at Starved Rock in Illinois.

The other kids were not with us as Grandpa and Grandma kidnapped them graciously and most appreciated by me, offered to take my littlest rats with them for a two-night stay at their place. Admittedly, I was a little emotional to be without my Diva and Tukey, but I GOT OVER THAT FAST, and AJers, Mr. Manic and I had some major special bonding time together.

Which included that hike thing we did yesterday. Outside. With bugs and wilderness and some cool waterfalls, that thankfully, I didn't slip and trip into the water in this canyon thing because then I would have really been pissed off and anti-outdoors. More so than I am already, if possible.

Mr. Manic said he loved watching me out of my comfort zone. I think he just likes seeing me flounder like a fish outta water. Ha, flounder - fish ... that's kind of a joke, isn't it?

So we hiked a while, and it was pretty but there are ony a few pics on Mr. Manic's crackberry and I tried to upload but you'll just have to use your imagination of me scaling a canyon rock wall and jumping over teeny streams and such.

Then we went for lunch and I had a beer and Ajers whipped my butt in pool. Having lunch in an air-conditioned restaurant called The Blind Pig was actually the highlight of the hiking trip.

All of our shoes performed perfectly, and no one has any blisters, which was our main concern. Of course, mine got a little bit muddy, which I didn't like.

The other highlight of the day, which occurred later on after we returned home is that I got my upper lip waxed. It only took 40 years of thinking about it, ignoring it, or bleaching it until I got brave enough to terminate that bastard caterpiller which resided above my lip. I don't know what took me so long, but there's only so many times I can listen to my children's pleas of: "Mom, when are you going to shave that 'stache? You've got more peach fuzz than I do!"

Not anymore kids, not anymore.

So, hiking and a lip wax. I'm not sure which was more painful. But I know I'm going to have to do both again.